First of all, I apologize, journal, for not talking with you yesterday. By the time you came to mind, it was already after midnight, so I just decided to wait until I had something else to talk about before I started journaling again.
I woke up last night after a dream, I believe. Anyway, all I know is that it was about 3 o'clock in the morning and I had this overwhelming drive urging me downstairs to get rid of my cigarettes. Did it before I thought about it. I picked up the pack I had just bought and filled it with water, then threw it in the trash. Yeaaaa, I guess. Maybe this will be it for me. I've tried so many times to quit smoking. I see myself being successful this time, but the circumstances surrounding the "quitting" were so uneventful that it's almost hard to believe it's really happening. I've been thinking about getting started a lot lately and even though I knew I wanted to start during this 100 days, nothing about **October 18th, 2008 shouted Vee's official quit date.
So let me talk just a little about how this has manifested itself. I don't know and maybe it's all in my head, but if that's the case, let's just let it stay there. I like it there.
For the past few weeks, I've been actually getting nauseated by cigarettes. The smell, the look of the ashes in the ash tray, and the nastiest taste in my mouth during and after I smoke. And I ain't talking 'bout the cigarette taste, either. I'm talking about that taste you have when you know you're about to throw up, but if you could just drink something real fast to change that taste, then you won't. Know what I mean? Scrambled eggs and some tooth pastes, mouth washes, and gums do this to me too. I know, kinda strange, right?
Well anyway, I've been feeling like that a lot lately: with cigarettes, with greasy foods, with different spices and tastes. And my taste buds are getting funnier too. Seems as though I can taste everything in everything. For example, if the knife used to peel an apple was first used to carve a turkey, I'd be able to taste the turkey on the apple. And the fountain drink I had today was so disgusting that I now know that no one on earth should ever, NEVER EVER, drink a fountain drink again as long as they live. I could taste the mildew and rot and uncleanliness. It made me remember what the inside of the fountain machine looked like once when I worked at Burger Queen. It was so nasty, I can't believe I ever thought of drinking another fountain drink.
I envision that this is my body's way of purifying me and NOT anything that needs fixing;-)
Anyway, to test the theory, not only haven't I been smoking today, but I also decided to eat raw. I took my ginger-ale with me just in case (we went out to eat), but the nausea didn't come down on my like usual. I figured that even though I was raw, I wasn't organic, and that was probably the reason for the slight nauseated feeling I did get.
Boy I can't wait to have my own garden. I just can't wait to grow my own veggies and herbs and even raise my own fish! And who knows, I just may end up a raw vegan. Not sure yet. I have a friend who believes in it and swears by it, but I've told her that I didn't think I'd be able to eat hay and straw all day. Just never know though, do you? But I would definitely have to look into it. Would that contradict my desires of using the milk and eggs from the animals on my land in my beauty products, even if the animals were loved and nurtured and NEVER, ever slaughter or treated cruelly? Oh, and I love my dairy, too. Ok, make that a raw vegetarian! Maybe...
Good night, journal.
Peace, Co-Creators,
Vee
**Manifestation / Co-Creation universe return
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